Modern image generators produce strikingly realistic images, where only artifacts like distorted hands or warped objects reveal their synthetic origin. Detecting these artifacts is essential: without detection, we cannot benchmark generators or train reward models to improve them. Current detectors fine-tune VLMs on tens of thousands of labeled images, but this is expensive to repeat whenever generators evolve or new artifact types emerge. We show that pretrained VLMs already encode the knowledge needed to detect artifacts - with the right scaffolding, this capability can be unlocked using only a few hundred labeled examples per artifact category. Our system, ArtifactLens, achieves state-of-the-art on five human artifact benchmarks (the first evaluation across multiple datasets) while requiring orders of magnitude less labeled data. The scaffolding consists of a multi-component architecture with in-context learning and text instruction optimization, with novel improvements to each. Our methods generalize to other artifact types - object morphology, animal anatomy, and entity interactions - and to the distinct task of AIGC detection.